10. Hairy Eyeball
The hair is a symptom of a tumour, known as a limbal dermoid, that is capable of growing anything from sweat glands through to teeth. This could mean an end to your dental bills but you might find it difficult explaining away the body odour coming from your tears.
What are you chances of suffering from limbal dermoid?
Medical experts reckon your chances are about 1 in 10,000. Better odds than winning the lottery (1:139,000,000). Also, it’s a congenital disease. This means that the cells that will eventually give your eyeball its own fur necklace developed in the womb.
Fact: gigantism is not caused by ‘sports enhancing’ additives as seen in the Simpsons. It’s actually the result of a tumour growing on the pituitary gland of the brain. In most cases, the disease affects the hands, feet and head but, in extreme circumstances, sufferers have a tendency to extreme height and prefer shopping in Long Tall Sally.
What are you chances of suffering from gigantism?
Gigantism is rare; really rare. In all, only about 100 cases have ever been reported. In fact, you’ve got a better chance of being afflicted if you are reincarnated as a squid that puts off maturing in order to increase its body size to beat the competition for food.
8. Human Horns
There’s no need to panic. You will not be shot by poachers so that your horn can be removed and ground up into a medicine designed to keep some aging tyrants pecker up. The horns, also known as cornu cutaneum, are actually skin lesions which take on a conical shape as they grow.
What are you chances of growing horns?
Little to none. Cornu cutaneum is very rare. Only a handful of cases have ever been reported. But, should you grow one, the chances of hitting the heights fame and fortune are high as are the chances that your horn will contain a malignant tumour.
7. Laughing Death
Way back in 1988, the Zodiac Mindwarp And The Love Reaction lead singer, Mark Manning, was laughing in the face of death. About 40 years earlier, Mr Death was laughing in the face of scientists researching the Fore tribe of New Guinea who were, quite literally, chuckling their way into a 6 foot hole.
Sufferers of the disease, known as Kuru, were subject to sudden, insane outbursts of laughter. Other symptoms included loss of coherent speech and constantly swaying and stumbling. Now, you could be forgiven for thinking that the researchers would have concluded the tribe were simply pissed. It’s far more spine tingling – the problems were caused by holes in the brain (aka “swiss-cheesing”) which were caused by nibbling on the remains of dead relatives.
What are you chances of catching the laughing death disease?
Fortunately, cannibalism is outlawed in most countries. It would also take a little more than munching on an earlobe sandwich or eyeball profiterole for you to contract laughing death.
6. NEUROFIBROMATOSIS (NF)
Neurofibromatosis (NF) refers to a number of inherited conditions that are clinically and genetically distinct and carry a high risk of tumor formation, particularly in the brain. Neurofibromatosis is an autosomal dominant disorder, which means only one copy of the affected gene is needed for the disorder to develop.
5. TREE BARK SKIN DISORDER
Epidermodysplasia verruciformis (also called Lewandowsky-Lutz dysplasia) is an extremely rare autosomal recessive genetic hereditary skin disorder associated with a high risk of carcinoma of the skin. It is characterized by abnormal susceptibility to human papillomaviruses (HPVs) of the skin. The resulting uncontrolled HPV infections result in the growth of scaly macules and papules, particularly on the hands and feet. It is typically associated with HPV types 5 and 8, which are found in about 80 percent of the normal population as asymptomatic infections, although other types may also contribute.
The condition usually has an onset of between the ages of 1–20, but can occasionally present in middle-age. It is named after the physicians who first documented it, Felix Lewandowsky and Wilhelm Lutz.
4. LION FACE SYNDROME
Leontiasis Ossea, also known as leontiasis or lion face, is a rare medical condition, characterized by an overgrowth of the facial and cranial bones. It is not a disease in itself, but a symptom of other diseases, including Paget’s disease, fibrous dysplasia, hyperparathyroidism and renal osteodystrophy.
The porphyrias are a group of rare inherited or acquired disorders of certain enzymes that normally participate in the production of porphyrins and heme. They manifest with either neurological complications or skin problems or occasionally both.
2. NECROTISING FASCILITIS
Necrotizing fasciitis commonly known as flesh-eating disease, flesh-eating bacteria or flesh-eating bacteria syndrome, is a rare infection of the deeper layers of skin and subcutaneous tissues, easily spreading across the fascial plane within the subcutaneous tissue.
Argyria or argyrosis (from Ancient Greek: ἄργυρος argyros silver) is a condition caused by inappropriate exposure to chemical compounds of the element silver, or to silver dust. The most dramatic symptom of argyria is that the skin turns blue or bluish-grey. It may take the form of generalized argyria or local argyria. Generalized argyria affects large areas over much of the visible surface of the body. Local argyria shows in limited regions of the body, such as patches of skin, parts of the mucous membrane or the conjunctiva.
The terms argyria and argyrosis have long been used interchangeably, with argyria being used more frequently. Argyrosis has been used particularly in referring to argyria of the conjunctiva, but the usage has never been consistent and cannot be relied on except where it has been explicitly specified.